So I just went back to "About.com"- the ADD section, a place where this all started. Sort of.

I had forgotten what it was like back then-- I was so HURT and angry and pissed and frightened about what this would mean for my little perfect angry wild child.

It got better. I got better. I remember that I hated having to deal with all the people that were CLUELESS. I hated having to spend so much time education myself because the "smart" people who should have known what they were doing were morons. For every 1 that went out of their way to help me as I stumbled along, I had already tripped over 8 that were so ignorant- or lazy- that they just didn't care about yet another mom with another problem child.

THAT was the first- and worst- barrier for us all. The persistant obnoxious preset notion that it is the parent's fault for not being stern enough. They never asked, they never came to me and said "I wonder if more discipline at home would change things?" as if there might be an issue. They just assumed.

&^#%!@)!! all of them. The principal that sat there and asked me "DO you ever say "NO" at your house"?- what a bitch. She got a brain tumor, and lord help me, I didn't feel bad for her at all. She had, in the course of grades 2,3 and 3 months of 4th, sucked all the compassion out of me with her nasty remarks, painful crap she dragged my son through (calling the POLICE???), and failues to follow legal rules for my child (IEP? We don't need to follow your IEP).

Going to About.com brings that time back in a rush. I guess I will have to delve through that in more detail in the days and weeks ahead. Doing it all at once just makes me nauseous. But remember- no matter what they do to you, just smile and flatten their tires in the parking lot. It will make you sleep much better.